


Percy and Keyleth build a pie machine that is for launching pies, not making pies, and probably has a shorter name, but Percy can't remember it right now

by bboiseux



Series: Critical Role Campaign 1 [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 02:35:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9858158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bboiseux/pseuds/bboiseux
Summary: Percy and Keyleth build a pie machine that is for launching pies, not . . . I could have sworn I wrote this already.  It feels very familiar.  Keyleth, did I write this already?  Yes, I thought so.Takes place pre-Episode 1.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Fluff to balance out [Comfort](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9796652).

Percy had built a machine that launched pies.  Keyleth had helped.  So now they were hiding behind the bushes in the garden of Greyskull Keep waiting.  Because someone was going to walk by and then that person would get pie—very quickly and with great force.  Keyleth giggled when Percy said that.  He hadn’t realized he was talking out loud.

If asked, Percy would admit two things.  One, he was slightly—but only slightly!—drunk.  Keyleth was clearly the drunker of the two.  He was fairly certain that any independent observer would agree.  Second (second?), his pie launching machine was not a wholly original device, but had been adapted from a similar device with a name he couldn’t remember right now, but which most certainly began with a “k” or a “c” depending on how the alphabet was working at the moment.  The point being that if he was completely drunk, he wouldn’t have been able to build it, so Keyleth should stop saying he was drunk and giggling like that.  And--

Percy was suddenly filled with a horrible realization.  They hadn’t figured out the correct tension to make the pie machine shoot a pie to--Oh no!  Even worse.  They hadn’t figured out where to shoot the pie!  Percy began going through his pockets, turning out any number of small items onto the grass until—ah ha!—he found a long, tangled piece of string.

Handing one end to Keyleth, Percy walked seven paces towards the center of the garden.  Straight back!  Must keep the paces even!  When he turned around, Keyleth was still next to him.  He explained in precise detail that it was very important she go back to the pie machine and hold the string.  He was also fairly certain she should do something else with the string, but it couldn’t be that important because he couldn’t remember what it was.  What was really important was that according to his calculations the pie fired from the pie machine should land exactly where he was standing.  Maybe.  Percy peered at the string intently.  He had the slight feeling that something was off with his calculations.  In fact, now that he focused on the topic of calculations, he didn’t seem to remember making any.

“Percy, dear, whatever are you going standing in the middle of our garden holding a piece of string?”

It was Vex.  No, it was the twins.  They were walking towards him with an uncomfortable amount of interest.

“What do you have there, Percival?” said Vax.

Percy began explaining that he and Keyleth (here, Keyleth shouted “Hi!” from behind the bush) had built a--  Then he stopped.  This was perfect.  Why hadn’t he seen it before!?

“Seen what, darling?”  Vex was far too interested in this.  Possibly far too amused too, if her smile was anything to go by.

Percy very carefully kept his mouth shut and held the string at arm’s length towards Vax.  He dropped it, watched it fall at Vax’s feet, and took one huge step back and waited.

Nothing happened.

Nothing continued to happen.

This was very vexing (sorry, Vex).  Percy was certain he was whispering to Keyleth to pull the lever, but for some reason Keyleth wasn’t listening.  He looked at her standing seven yards away, by the bush.  Vax and Vex were both definitely looking very amused now.

Percy shrugged and shouted, “Pull the lever!”

Keyleth did, the pie machine jerked into motion—the perfect motion for launching a pie—and then . . . nothing.

Percy peered at the machine, then marched over to the machine, then marched back over to Vax and Vex, then started wandering around the garden, before turning back to Keyleth to announce the absolutely confounding fact that he had forgotten to load the pie machine with a pie, but that he would go immediately to the kitchen and get one.  He pounded off towards the keep.

Vax, Vex, and Keyleth watched him.

“So, Keyleth, we’re going to sleep now.”  Vex paused and looked back towards where Percy had disappeared into the keep, “Okay?”

“Sure!”  Keyleth waved good night, a string dangling from her hand.

The next morning, they found Keyleth asleep in the garden and Percy asleep in the kitchen.  His head was resting next to a large cake.


End file.
